SMASHING MY HEAD

SMASHING MY HEAD by Tim Young

I’m thinking of smashing my head

Up against a wall

I’m thinking of the hurt and pain

And it’s damn easy ‘cause thinking don’t

Require action

No action like moving limbs or

Lifting the body into

Strenuous positions

Only mental activity

Mental in my mind

Blowing like wind in the chimes

But don’t be deceived

Because it’s not a pretty song

Hiding its face like the devil

Deception comes cheap

At the 99 cent store

Pick it up on Fridays

Two for one

Remove your wallet

With a careful precision

Wasted motions

Automatically raise the price

And there’s no cap

And there’s no cap on my head

So the blood will spill easily

Against the white wall

Undoubtedly a white wall

Streaking itself crimson

Fine lines crawling carefully into

A fine drip

Dripping into the ocean

Beginning the butterfly effect

Until the waves in the sea

Rise like skyscrapers

And consume me in one giant gulp

Then not only would I smash my head

But the surf would push me

Against the sea wall

An angry wall of commotion

Catastrophe and collision

But it’s all a dream

As I wake up screaming for peace

Stop the bombing

The streaking blood

Ruining every plan for peace

Then I feel a funny wind

Twisting itself around my neck

And again I am frightened for my life

But I want it to be a comfort

I want something other than

A bloody head

I’m scraping the bottom of the ocean floor

For a shred of silence

A moment of reflection

A day of tranquility

When the notions of smashing the head

Have climbed over the front seat

To the back like I did

When I was a kid

Long before I ever entertained

The thought of screaming for peace

Not even knowing what peace was

But now the waters have receded

The sky is clear

And the white wall looms

Ever so temptingly

In front of me